Jatuh...

setelah lama ku berhenti berjalan, terdiam di persimpangan..
perlahan ku mulai menjejakan kakiku lagi di jalan itu..

penuh ragu, tapi aku tetap maju..
satu..
dua langkah..
dan..... jatuh..

sakit.. tapi ku berusaha berdiri..
dan berjalan lagi..
satu..
dua..
tiga langkah..
dan...... jatuh.. (lagi!)

sakit.. berdarah.. perih sekali rasanya..
seperti luka segar tersiram air garam pekat..

ingin aku menangis, dan menyerah saja!
tapi untuk apa?
toh semua adalah ketentuan-NYA..
semua adalah ujian dari-NYA untuk ku..

sungguh tak pantas ku berkeluh kesah.. atau menyalahkan jalan yang tak mulus itu!

semoga, semua rasa sakit ini, semua luka ini, menjadi penghapus dosa-dosaku..

amiin..


jakarta, october 16th 2009..
01.36 dini hari WIB

-tiara-

ahh.. sudahlah..!

Anggap saja semua tak pernah ada..
Anggap saja terbangun dari mimpi indah..
Dan sekarang, saatnya kembali berteman dengan realita..

Suram memang, tapi tetap harus dijalani bukan?
Walau harus selamanya memasang senyum palsu yang bahkan tidak lagi meyakinkan itu..
Walau harus menutup telinga rapat rapat agar tak perlu mendengar suara memekakan yang entah datang dari rongga hati yang mana..

Sungguh gelap disana..
Ku tak mampu lagi melihat ke dalamnya..
Tapi sudahlah..
Ku kan kunci rapat saja pintunya..

Tak kan ku perdulikan mereka yang pernah singgah kesana..
Karena mereka semua sungguh menyebalkan!
Tapi sudahlah...
Tak ada guna menoleh ke belakang!

Tiara..
My bedroom, 22.15
26th of August 2009

The End

I can't believe i have to walk on this familiar old path again...
where i'm forced to let go all my hopes and dreams...

when i have to face the truth that i must walk on my own...
even when i feel that i can't no longer stand without support... without a hand to hold on... i have to walk alone...

the path is so long, yet i don't know where it's heading to...
i'm lost... i'm totally lost...

*another sleepless night.. another heart breaking ending..*

My Bedroom,
3AM, 14th of March 2009
-Tiara-

Dear My Future Husband

u are the cool breeze in a hot summer day..
u are the warmth of the sun in december..
u are the sparkles of the stars in one cloudy night..
u are my ecstasy when i'm depressed..
u are my friend when the whole world is my enemy..

u hear my silent scream..
u make me feel i'm not alone..

my man, whoever u might be..
i'll wait for u patiently insha Allah..

*puisi untuk my future husband (siapapun dia nantinya)*

my bedroom, 13th of March 2009
-Tiara-

I AM PALESTINE

call me a terrorist..
call me a fundamentalist..
i am Muslim first..
you may try to break my spirit, kill my people and steal my lands..
YET...
naive fool..
you make me stronger in my resolve..

i will fight with every breath of air..
sacrifice every drop of blood, to fly the flags of freedom high...
high over your heads...

my children i sacrifice..
my lands you rape and ravage Still...
naive fool...
NEVER FORGET...
I AM PALESTINE...
my spirit you will NEVER break...

a poem by Ummie Muhammad Zaakir

*this poem was posted by sis Shireen on her Facebook note, i thought it was really good so i decided to post it here..*

Lost

I thought my grey sky has turned blue..
I thought i could see my destination..
But suddenly the light went off and i couldn't see nothing but darkness..
Black sky has replaced my grey sky..
The blue flash disappeared.. Here i am..
Lost..
But i know one thing..
I don't want to be found..

*this poem is actually one of those PMS poems i wrote.. lol u know what i mean*
^_^ -Tiara-
i forgot the date, but it was written in 2008